I’ve always heard stories of people’s encounters with Ekpes (masquerades) and believe me, they aren’t good stories.
Truth be told, I’ve always found them creepy especially Calabar masquerades. And coupled with my new level of spirituality, they irk the living life out of me.
I said now, because growing up, Christmas holidays were my favorite, and getting to spend it in Calabar was a bonus. Seeing Ekpes of different kinds, sizes, and shapes coming to Ma Giwa and other politicians’ houses close to ours to display was euphoric; we would stand by our gate, feeding our eyes with their performance, and that of other entertainers. When we notice the Ekpes walking out, we’ll run and close the gate.
It was fun for us and I low-key think the Ekpes enjoyed it also, as they always try to scare us. We’ll run inside laughing and screaming our lungs out; only to go out again a few seconds after.
“Better don’t fall o!”
Mummy would warn us. We tried our best not to fall, and even when we did, we’d hide the injury from mummy and any authority figure available. Because, if anyone finds out, the whole content in the spirit bottle would greet your injury with so much stinging love and you’ll receive all the scolding in this world.
I know they were doing it out of love and care, but as a child, I always thought they enjoyed our pains and cries.
Just like the day my elder sister Tomi sprained her ankle; it was so bad.
The Ekpes took our play to a higher level. They came too close during our playful chase, and in the process of running faster than our legs could take us, she fell and somehow broke her ankle.
She didn’t feel the pain at first, because she got up immediately and followed us inside the compound jumping and screaming so loud.
Talk about mad adrenaline 😂
We were screaming so loud, jumping about with our tummies filled with fried rice, chicken, salad, multiple soft drinks, chin chin, and other consumables that were in the kitchen or fridge while enjoying our running experience; everyone was talking at the same time, junior had banged the gate so hard it woke mummy.
She was having a headache and had left Daddy to handle the guests while she took a nap.
“Oya, everybody to your rooms; and if I hear any sound again, I’ll spoil the rest of the year for somebody” she thundered.
We all scrambled like blind rats to our rooms as quiet as quiet can be. Not even daring to breathe too loud. Nobody jokes with mummy’s threats, they weren’t empty.
In our house, “I’ll tell your father” is replaced with “I’ll tell your mother” not that daddy isn’t strict, but mummy is extra. She’ll handle you with an iron fist, and when she’s done, you’ll forever live to tell the story.
I’m Daddy’s favorite, so I get away with so many things. That’s mostly when he’s around, but if he’s out of town………let’s leave that story for another day.
So, we all cramped ourselves in the room my older sister Tomi shares with her twin Timi, playing board games and whispering like small thieves till we all fell asleep.
Waking up, Tomi was limping. The pain was too much, she was close to tears. “Call Junior, he’ll be able to do something” Timi ordered.
Junior was our doctor. As president of the Red Cross Club in school, the eldest in the family and as an aspiring doctor, he had all the solutions to any health issue. Although most times it gets really bad authority figures still have to intervene, he tries his best.
I ran to his room to deliver the message. He came into the room feeling like an actual doctor with his lab coat and his first aid box. All gifts from daddy
After trying all the tryables, he shook his head looking at us with sorry eyes.
“This is beyond me; we’ll have to involve an authority figure. I’ll recommend daddy” he was definitely enjoying playing doctor. I thought while rolling my eyes.
Telling daddy wasn’t the problem, but there’s no way mummy wouldn’t find out. Like idiots that we were, trying to prevent the wrath of the mighty eagle (mummy) we decided to hide Tomi’s ankle. It was a futile mission because eagle eye found out immediately. She called Uncle Kayode our driver, and for a second, I thought she was going to take Tomi to the hospital. But she was too chill about the situation, so I wasn’t surprised when she told Timi to boil water.
I saw Tomi cry and shout things only God understood. Poor Tomi, her face turned pink, her eyes bloodshot red. The house was pin-drop silent, every child slept earlier than usual that day.
I looked at her in her bed cuddling her pillow, looking so peaceful; she was still sobbing and releasing tiny moans even in her sleep.
I know mummy was angry. Because she’s always warning us and telling us to be careful. But accidents aren’t planned, right?
Tomi got better thanks to Uncle Kayode’s wicked massages. Little did we know she was playing a trick on our intelligence. She broke her left leg, but when it’s time for massage, she’ll give her right leg. We’ll all be laughing through the massage session, happy and thinking she’s getting better, but wondering why she’s still limping.
Unfortunately, during one of her sessions,busy-body Junior was trying to learn how to give massages. We didn’t know what happened next, but I saw my sister springing to the heavens and back, she cried more than she did on the day she broke her ankle. Her little trick landed her in a very huge trouble with mummy. Although she got better, the process wasn’t easy.
That was years ago, and since then, no one dared to go out to watch the Ekpes. My hatred for them increased and all.
Now I’m all gown up and in the university, my major route to school and back is through Watt market and if you know Calabar, you should know how Ekpes roam that area.
One unlucky day, I just got off the tricycle and was on the phone with my bestie. I passed the usual spot where I take taxi home, and continued walking.
Don’t blame me, I was enjoying the gist
After talking for ages, I ended the call; finally concentrating on the road, I saw two Ekpes a few feet in front of me. They were scaring the living life out of a girl. I froze…….
“No run, no run….” I heard an older lady telling me.
I didn’t even know I was running; but why shouldn’t I run abeg? I turned to see them very close, and the Usain bolt in me got activated.
People were shouting, and I refused to look back, before Ekpe destroy my back for me.
I entered the market, walking as fast as possible while shaking like spoilt vegetable out of fear.
Tough luck Ekpe I thought while trying to catch my breath. And glad I escaped in one piece.
A girl from a shop noticed me “You dey run from Ekpe?” Her Igbo accent was very strong. I nodded as she ushered me to her shop.
“You’re new abi?”
I hesitated, then nodded still trying to catch my breath.
“Welcome to Calabar, I’m Chineye” she said smiling.
